First Time Mom

July 9th, 2009

Its true when we hear people say that.. ‘’You will never know how is it to be a mother until You become One”.

This phrase only dawn on me recently as I became a mother myself.

As I prepared myself to being a mom at first I tried to relate it to my own experience growing up. But then again I had a different experience since I  had 2 moms my biological mom and the mother that raised me my grand mom plus of course a few of my aunts who also stood up as my mom on different occasions. So to cut it short I had lots of them.. But since I was so much into motherhood and was so eager to know  I had to learn from peoples who for me  are successful moms.

So I started listening to stories about motherhood. For me it was like attending a short course on parenting as I face this new phase in my life. I would listen to friends stories on their “how to’s” like how to raise good behaving kids, how to know if your baby is sick, how to feed .. etc etc the list goes on. But none really prepared me on how to become one.

So then after giving birth time to apply all the lessons I learned. But it didn’t come that easy as if all that I learned and all the stories I heard was not enough. So I had to go and learn every inch on daily basis. And it was such an enjoyable experience. And still everyday im looking forward to learning new things. Though going through it  all is that not fun .Sometimes I get frustrated feeling im not good enough or my anxiety levels goes high over mundane things.

But  I must say nothing beats the feeling of seeing ones child smile or him sleeping calmly in your arms. And it feels good knowing that you are raising a child and trying to do your best at any given situation.

Motherhood as I’ve come to realize does not come that easy. It’s not as if your following a RECIPE to being a fine mom ,nor does it have a FORMULA to being one. It involves a great deal of hardwork combined with a mixture of love,faith and dedication.

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My Pregnancy

July 4th, 2009

Okey Okey… i know its quiet late to write something bout my pregnancy since i gave birth 3weeks ago.. Just wanna share to you guys how i went through it..

First i found out i was pregnant mid of November 2008. Arvin and i was on vacation that time in the Phil. I was clueless that i was pregnant since i didn’t feel anything or any of those signs and symptoms i should be experiencing. I was so much enjoying our vacation that i lose count of how many months i was delayed yeah yeah i know I’m so stupid .. So one time i was on my shopping spree when i saw one colleague from ICU she started saying,”Oi kat mukha kang buntis”, but i just ignored it. But later that evening something prompted me to do one pregnancy test, the first test went positive but i was doubtful so i tried again and it was positive once more. I didn’t tell arvin at once cause i don’t wanna cause panic, he is a bit panicky when it comes to these stuffs.. That night i couldn’t sleep i was so afraid thinking i was so careless the whole time i was on different medications due to my allergic rhinitis, i was drinking coffee like water, and i spent sleepless nights going out with my cousins. Then when i tried to recall my last period gosh! it was almost like going three mos. at that time whew! So then i started panicking. The following day i told arvin and my aunt who was a doctor for a brief consultation. Though she reassured me not to worry much ,still i was freakin’ worried not because that im not ready or anything but the effect of being so careless on my yet unborn child tsk tsk…

So then we went back here in KSA, i had my blood tested for beta HCG … consulted a OB GYNE and had my first ultrasound. And it shocked me to know that i was in my late third month almost going to my fourth month ..

Though i was prescribe some vitamins still i was thinking too late for these vitamins cause the most important brain developments of the baby is on the 1st trimester and I’m going to the 2nd tri already.. So i prayed and prayed that nothing would happen to my baby.

So months passed one after the other, since i was really not feeling anything i went to work without a hitch.. My co staffs are even telling me that im so lucky cause i did not have ANY discomforts during my whole pregnancy. I was still having my regular off shift duty which was 3-11pm and 11-7am my routine @ work is not affected at all! only that during my 35thmonth i avoided carrying heavy loads as adviced by my OB.

Then came delivery… i was scheduled for Elective Ceasarian Section since my baby was in breech presentation. From the time i was brought to the delivery room until my baby was out i was so calmed. Then i saw my baby i was so thankful that dear God granted my prayers.. He’s a charming baby boy.

The only part i had difficulty dealing with was the time that the anesthesia effect wore off.. I was given a spinal anesth though my doctors were also trying to convince me to have an epidural for the PCA ( patient controlled anesthesia) i was supposed to have post-operative, but i refused. Thinking i can manage the pain, but the pain was unbearable for some time so i just had a few shots of pethidine instead.

RECOVERY  is not at all difficult than what i imagined it to be, specially if you have someone to help you like a loving husband and a caring mother beside you.. (naks!)

And lastly its true holding your child erases all the pain away.. the smell of his breath, the touch of his skin, and his smile only reminds you of God’s greatness and love!

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A Brides Dilemma

December 13th, 2007

Its 34 days, 8 hours , 14 minutes (as of writing my entry) before ""D’ Day!!!""…

I have been experiencing mild level of anxiety every now & then.. But thankfully things are just going smoothly… things that urgently needs to be settled are done and deadlines are met accordingly..

It didnt occur to me that planning a wedding would be like this..Although some friends and relatives have in advance shared their warnings hehehe.. So far the things that tops my list were settled of course with the help of my very patient and very hardworking ate (naks! sipsip) hehehe..although we nag her every now and then!

After having sleepless nights adding more to my insomniac pattern of sleeping, heart pounding palpitations, & 10mg AMLOR daily(hahahaha)… Finally at least some if not all that are painfully hurting our pockets were settled… It was indeed a sigh of relief on both of me & my other half.. You could just see imagine the smile posted on our face as we finished off this months billings hehehehe..

As of press time my gown is still a work in progress im keeping my fingers cross & praying that layers of my tummy would’nt just "popped- out"of my gown… Im hoping not to gain more or in my imaginary state of mind ill loose more pound instead..

But i myself doubt it.. Festive Merry Eating Season is just around the corner(hah)! knowing myself a slice of that Very dark, Very yummy, tooth aching sweetness chocolate cake wont be enough! just the though of it tempts me!! Or on second thought i might just increase my dose of reductil heheh! Not only do i have to watch my weight i have to maintain that picture perfect glow on my skin.. So i wont need to load my face with tons of chanel concealers to hide that dark circles under my eyes.. heck with all those night duties i have.. hmp!!

Anway still a month ahead of time!… tsk tsk tsk..

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“LOVE” and its many form!

May 13th, 2007

1. “Love is patient.”
Literally this means love is long-suffering. He’s not talking about being patient at a red light, check-out line. He’s not referring to that. He’s talking about loving people who hurt you, suffering long with them. We will not retaliate by harsh words. We will not retaliate by resentment, by silence, by subtle put-downs, by sarcasm, by mean and nasty words, sticking it to people. We will rather forgive them. We are patient and forgiving as Christ has been patient and forgiving with us.

2. “Love is kind.”
Why does he say that? Well it’s not enough to not strike back. It’s not enough to refrain from retaliation and saying, “You know what? I don’t like that person. I don’t love that person. I’m better if I just steer clear of that person.” Paul says no, no, no. No. Love is kind. You know what he means by this? The root of this word kind is useful. It means that love does beneficial things for other people. It’s not enough to say, “Look, every time I see that person I … I have problems with them, so I’m not going to see them.” The apostle Paul says, no, if you love them you’ll do helpful deeds for them. You’ll be alert to their needs. It might be a note of encouragement. It might be just doing something kind for them, might just be a word of encouragement to them. Love … in other words he’s saying love helps others. Love is kind. Love doesn’t avoid people. Love is kind.
3. “Love is not jealous.”
Love is not jealous in the sense that love doesn’t envy other people. It’s not covetous of what others have because love wants the best for others. It doesn’t begrudge somebody else’s blessings. It doesn’t hear that somebody has been blessed financially or business-wise and go, “Great”, but in your heart you think why not me? Why not me? Love doesn’t do that. Love says I rejoice … I rejoice. And we’ve all been around people who you know they’re not particularly rejoicing with us. You can see it facially. You can see the words that come out. It just appears that they pour cold water on it. But if you love someone, then you rejoice in God’s blessings in their life … not thinking, “How come that person had it and not me.”
4. “Love is not arrogant.”
Paul says love does not brag. If you love others, you don’t boast about your accomplishments to make yourself look good. Love tries to make others look better than you. How do you do that? Ask about their success. Ask about them, and listen to questions and want to know about their accomplishments. It’s not high-minded, not proud. Love esteems others as more important that yourself. When you love other people you don’t consider yourself, your thoughts, your ministries, your agendas as more important than others. Love acts as a servant to others.
Years ago we had a ministry then called Evangelism Explosion. I became so concerned about promoting myself through that ministry that if you weren’t in that ministry I wasn’t your friend. Now I didn’t say that, but that’s how I felt. You were an outsider. It became a little in-cliquish group. And I had a dear friend who loved me enough one day to confront me in my car … that’s a bad place to be confronted, no place to go. And (uh) and he confronted me. He said, “Steve, you’re wrong. You don’t care about other people. All you think about is promoting yourself through this ministry. You don’t reach out to anybody. You don’t care. It’s all about yourself. And … it … it was like he took a dagger and stuck it in my heart, and I knew it was true and I had to repent of that. And so I’ve been there and I understand that. Love is not arrogant. Love is not promoting itself. It doesn’t fight for its own rights.
5. “Love does not act unbecomingly.”
You know what that means? It means love is not rude. And the reason it’s not rude is because when you love someone you care about their feelings. It isn’t a matter of , “Well I’m just going to be brutally honest with you and get this off of my chest.” Love has diplomacy. Love is courteous. Love is gracious. Love is not tactless and ill-mannered. And there are some people who think, “Well look. That’s just the way I am. I’m a straight-shooter. I just tell it the way I see it.” Well that means if you haven’t thought through the words you’re going to say that you’re not thinking about anybody else but yourself. You’re not loving. Love thinks about what you say to others, how you come across. Love thinks about diplomacy and … and gracious words that build up. Love does not just shoot from the hip and say, “Take it or leave it.”
6. “Love does not seek it’s own.”
Love doesn’t insist on getting its own way, and in many ways that’s the heart of what he’s saying here. Love is not adamant about having your needs met. In other words, love is not selfish .. not self-centered. Instead the person who loves others seeks their interest and endeavors to meet their needs. Essentially what Paul is saying is that love gives rather than takes. Love is not in it for what can I get out of it. Love is in it for what I can give. It selflessly seeks what is in the best interest of others. Now let me just stop and say, “You know what? I know what you’re probably thinking. Boy, I fail so often, I don’t feel like doing this.” I don’t feel like doing this either most of the time. You do it anyway, regardless of your feelings. This is how love behaves, not how love feels. Do what’s right and your feelings will eventually catch up to your actions.
7. “Love is not provoked.”
The thought here is that love doesn’t lose its temper. When we love others we’re not sharp with them … we’re not sharp-tongued. We don’t come back with nasty words. We’re not quick to say those things that are cutting, because we are quick to overlook their shortcomings and their offenses.
8. “Love does not take into account the wrongs suffered.”
This is really an accounting term. It’s a mathematical term. It means that love doesn’t keep a record of someone else’s wrongs. How practical this. Instead you see when you love someone you choose to cover a multitude of their sins against you. In practical terms this means that love doesn’t keep dwelling on what somebody has done to you to hurt you. It doesn’t keep a record, it doesn’t hang onto those memories. It doesn’t harbor resentment. It doesn’t keep mulling over these negative things in their minds. I know people that … things that happened years ago – in a moment’s notice they’ve got it. It’s right there. They can give you detail, they can give you dates, they can give you where you said it – because they’re not loving you. Love does not take into account a wrong suffered.
9. “Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness,”
meaning love finds no pleasure in anyone else’s sin. That’s so very, very practical. It’s never glad when someone falls into sin. It doesn’t gloat. There isn’t a smug self-righteous satisfaction that says, “Look, they got what they deserve. They had it coming to them.” Love doesn’t do that. See, when you love others, you want what’s best for them, and unrighteousness is what’s worst for them.
10. “Love rejoices with the truth.”
Instead of rejoicing when someone sins, love rejoices when someone obeys the truth of the Word of God, because that’s what’s best for them, and that’s what love is … love does what’s best for them.
11. “Love bears all things.”
Now the thought behind this expression is that bearing here is the thought of covering, as you would cover someone’s thoughts. In fact, this very word is used in Mark’s Gospel, Chapter 2, Verse 4, of a roof, because a roof covered a house. It’s the thought of covering the faults of others. Love just covers other people’s faults. It doesn’t mean that you don’t confront them. It doesn’t mean that you condone their sin. It means that you go to the nth degree to protect them from unnecessary embarrassment and exposure of their sin. We deal with sin privately, rather than publicly gossiping to others about the sins of people.
12. “Love believes all things.”
I love this. This is just tremendous. You know what it means? He’s not talking about love believes everything in the world. There are a lot of things we don’t believe. Paul means that love believes the best about other people. I am so prone to believing the worst, but most of us are just like that. We tend to believe the worst about others, but Paul says love is never suspicious, it’s never distrustful. It makes all possible allowances within the realm of reality. Now this doesn’t mean that … that we’re to be blind and … and naïve and gullible … if someone hit us once, they can hit us again, and we’re not going to see it coming. It just means that you give others the benefit of the doubt unless the evidence to the contrary is clear, it’s substantial, it’s compelling. Otherwise, when someone comes to your mind, or someone tells you something, your first thought should be no, no, no. I don’t believe they would do that. I don’t think so … no. I think better of them, rather than, “I know that scoundrel. Of course he’s up to that.”
13. “Love hopes all things.”
This means that when it becomes obvious that someone we believed in did fail, love refuses to take that failure as final. In other words, love is optimistic. Love is the eternal optimist. It just keeps hoping for better things. In other words, love never gives up hoping for the best in others. Even when they do fail, I am hopeful and confident that you’re going to still do better. It doesn’t say, “He did this … she did this to me, and they’re always going to do this to me. They’re never going to change.” Love doesn’t behave like that.
14. “Love endures all things,”
meaning when you truly love someone else you never stop loving them … regardless of how they treat you. Even if they show no sign of responding to your love, you endure all their ill treatment by returning good for their evil. In other words, you never quit loving, because love cares too much to give up. You know the way I would put it … love never dies. It is eternal. It endures. It can handle all of it … all the garbage people throw at us, we return love.
Now folks, this is the way that love behaves … not loving mankind in general, but loving people, and sinful people. And even though these are high standards, if you know Jesus Christ you are capable of obeying … you are capable of putting these truths into action. You have all spiritual resources … you have the Holy Spirit who lives in you, you have the opportunities, you’re growing in Christ to come under his control by applying the Word of God. It’s not simply a matter of, “I’ll spend some time in the word and I’ll pray about it.” You have to be diligent in applying this. You have a responsibility. You have to work on this, regardless of your feelings. As I said, don’t wait to feel like this, do it anyway. And I would say listen more to others, speak less about yourself. Make a conscious effort to do that. That’s not a New Year’s resolution – that’s the Bible. Speak with courtesy. If someone says hello to you, you say hello, and you say it courteously. Someone maybe has a sharp response to you … you’re courteous, you’re gracious. Think about how you come across. Do acts of kindness. What can you do specifically. What are the needs of people around you. Do something. Put the desires of others ahead of yourself. As you do these things, the Spirit of God will be conforming your character to be like Christ … you know what? He’s the epitome of love. Everything we said in 1st Corinthians 13 is really a picture of Jesus Christ, because he loves us in the perfect manner that Paul is referring to in this chapter. All these things that I have read in 1st Corinthians 13 I have been guilty of many, many, many times, and you have too. We stand before the Lord only by his grace. But you know what? We can obey this, and by God’s grace and power you start today.
Father, we thank you for reminding us of where we’ve come , and your blessing upon us, but where we need to go. And I pray that you would help each of us to take these truths to heart. Lord, there’s nothing more important than loving one another as you have loved us … sacrificially, selflessly. We’re so grateful. May we honor you by putting into practice, in our lives, what your word says and what we’ve studied today. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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